Eulogy of Karen Sue Inman Lents, lovingly read by her brother Tom Inman
I’m privileged to speak today about my sister Karen, an exceptional woman loved by all of us. I have some remarks prepared by her children and grand-children, and I’ll add some extemporaneous thoughts of my own.
Many things come to mind when we think back on the time we spent with Karen. There are a lot of words to describe her: kind, beautiful, strong, caring, faithful, courageous but most of all generous. Generous with her heart, generous with her spirit and especially generous with her time.
As I drove between Decatur and my home in Huntsville over the past few weeks, I had time to think more deeply about my sister and contemplate her life and what she meant to us. I was not surprised to learn that her daughters would summarize Karen with the same simple word that I did: mother.
She always wanted to be a mother, it was her ambition and life’s goal. She married Bob Lents, the boy-next-door, or in this case, the-boy-across-the-street, and dove right in to building her family. She was a hands-on Mom, always there to help, encourage and provide her family with everything they needed. Her family meant everything to her. Family and friends alike, she just wanted everyone to be happy; a running theme through her life. “Mother” was her favorite job and eventually she also became a grandmother and great-grandmother. But she was more than just a mother, the noun; she embodied motherhood as a verb. It was an action word. And Karen’s “mothering” didn’t stop at the first generation but continued to her grandchildren and her great-grandchildren. It was typical at family gatherings to eventually find Karen on the floor with all of the kids, playing, reading, instructing, guiding them…and delighting them. Now some grandparents (and even some parents) lead from the easy chair, offering decrees or waxing philosophically from “on high.” But Karen led from the floor; she was involved, she led by demonstration, she led by participating, she was active in her mothering. And this didn’t stop as her children or grandchildren or great-grandchildren got older; at higher ages she never missed a ball game, or a play, or a recital, or an awards day, unless, of course, she happened to be double- or triple-booked with other similar events. And I know it was an agonizing choice for her to decide which event to attend and which to miss. This mothering involved not only her close family but the extended family as well; nieces, nephews, and friends of those she loved all enjoyed the benefits of her generous spirit. My children, and my sister Linda’s children received the same treatment; an active Aunt who was always there for them, leading from the floor, and, in their later years, always being a steady rock that they could rely on for counsel or guidance. No birthdays were missed without a thoughtful present, and no holiday went by without a card in the mail. A card with words emphasized so they knew the sentiment was purposeful, and when they were little a couple of dollars added to spend on a treat. But the most important thing included in the card was … the confetti. Customized confetti appropriate for the occasion and always included in the card was Karen’s way of emphasizing that “you are important” and “you are loved.” She loved spending time with her family, especially hosting all the holiday get togethers at her house. She always gave part of herself to everyone and we loved her for that.
We asked the grandchildren if they wanted to share little things they remember about their grandmother. Here are their stories:
Emmi
You are my best friend and always knew how to lighten up the moment with things you said and you always believed in me no matter what. I will forever cherish the moments we had together where we laughed and when we played whiffle ball in the backyard and even though we always ended up hitting your shin you would just laugh. Her laugh would always make me smile. Holidays will not be the same anymore without you. I hope you are having a blast in heaven and getting to see all the snow you want.
Ryan
Spending the night at Grandma’s when I was little, I remember she always had PopTarts there for breakfast, to this day the PopTarts are there on the shelf. If only we could have gotten her to describe our new shoes as cool instead of cute. She was the biggest cheerleader at football games, I can still hear those recordings, “Go Ryan, go.” She passed on her love of plants to my brother and I.
Drew
When Grandma was brought home from the hospital, I mentioned to her during a visit that the Cardinals lost a ballgame from a walk-off home run and she said “Good.” Grandma always got me my favorite wax bottle candies for my Christmas stocking and other holidays. I always enjoyed seeing her after my football games and knowing she was there supporting me. She never missed a Grandparents Day at St. T and I was glad to have her there.
Brittanie
I will never forget how she has always there for me from day one when Nicholas was sick and he was in and out of the hospital. Throughout my life I could always count on her and that has continued with her being there in so many ways. Now with my kids as her great-grandkids, with whom she adored and of course they adored her just as much, we are all going to miss her terribly.
Amber
Every weekend I would always bug my Mom to let me spend the night at Grandmas. I was there almost every Saturday night. I’m kinda surprised Grandma didn’t get tired of me. When I was little I hated having my hair touched or braided. Grandma would always ask me if she could braid my hair and I would always throw the biggest fit about it because I hated my hair being played with. When I got older, I asked Grandma if she could braid my hair for the first time and she was so happy saying “You finally want me to braid your hair?” Her smile was so big. Baking was one of Grandmas favorite things to do. No matter how old I was, I would always want to sit on the counter and help her pour all the ingredients into different bowls, whether it was rice krispy treats, brownies or her classic chocolate chip cookies. She would always let me lick the spatula off - after we were done mixing of course.
Brendan
Even into adulthood she would send birthday and holiday cards filled with confetti so you would know she was thinking about you. I especially loved getting the care packages of homemade goodies when I was away at college and the ice cream sandwiches waiting in the freezer whenever I would visit.
Colin
My Grandma has got to be one of the greatest Grandmas ever. She was so kind and loving to everyone. I remember playing badminton outside and if we hit each other with the birdie in the face we would laugh so hard. I will miss her laugh and the impact she had on people. I loved when we were little on Halloween we would watch Hocus Pocus and spend the night at her house. I will never forget how she’d come in and give me a kiss on the cheek, tuck me in and say “Goodnight, don’t let the bedbugs bite.” I used to do my imitation ‘grandpa walk and laugh’ for her; making her laugh was the highlight of my day. I know you are watching over us up in heaven. I love you & will always miss you.
Karen enjoyed gardening, growing plants and especially flowers and tending to her yard and feeding the birds, squirrels, deer or any other wildlife that happened into her yard. She loved reading and going to the library with her mother. Both Karen and her mother are Die-hard Cubs fans. We are so happy to have the memory of going to the Cubs/Cardinals game in July. What a blessing, and of course, she would see it that way because the Cubs came back and won in the 9th inning. She and her Mom really celebrated that win. In recent years, she enjoyed traveling with friends on many Central IL bus groups and gathering with her church and reunion lunch groups.
Winter was a very welcome time for Karen, she loved snow and especially quiet time spent shoveling. Think of her when those big snowflakes start to fall on a peaceful winter night; she would be smiling. And of course, she loved her cats, Barney and Sugar. She commented on what great companions they had been for her these past few years.
Karen left a lasting impact on many people, friends, neighbors. She enjoyed making goodies for people, and we just learned from her mail carrier this week that Karen would make her cookies randomly throughout the year. She was always there to tend to everyone’s needs before her own. Her faith was strong and such an important part of her life. She touched many people’s hearts and will be missed by all of them. We know the Lord will welcome her into his kingdom and she will be reunited with all of her dear loved ones. We aren’t sure exactly how to carry on without her but she will forever and ever be in our hearts.
A decade or so ago, in a quiet moment we had together, Karen once said to me: “It’s all about the babies.” I now realize that was her life philosophy. Her core belief was that if we can simply nurture, guide, and lift up the children properly, we’ll all prosper. And that is exactly what she did. She practiced exactly what she preached. And the evidence of her success is right in front of our eyes with her strong, caring, and loving daughters, and the wonderful family she nurtured all these years.
Thank you for listening. I hope some of these stories have resonated with your own memories of Karen. I am honored to have been able, on behalf of the family, to speak to you about my sister; an exceptional, extraordinary woman who gave much to all, and was successful in enriching each one of us beyond measure.
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